Saturday, December 17, 2005

Bears Just Wanna Have Fun

i dreamt last night that i was salmon hunting (no i wasn't a bear; it just seemed like a clever title...). It was spawning season, and in the context of the dream, while they were swimming up stream they were more suicidal-- they didn't fight back as much. i caught a few of them, but some of them were small and i tossed them back. i think that i caught two large salmon-- with my bare hands.

After the salmon were upstresam, they got feisty and were harder to catch. once again i was in the water catching salmon with my bare hands. The two that i caught-- they bit me first. they came close to the riverbank, lifted their mouths out of the water, and BIT ME as i tried to catch them. But it was the biting me that made meable to catch them.... they clamped onto my hand, and i flung them to the earth... HA! Four more salmon! Suffer the bite to WIN!

Friday, December 16, 2005

Wisconsin Death Trip

i just uploaded on to my computer some pictures of my cats from my digital camera. i can save the ones that i like and delete the ones that i don't (the ones that i "don't like" just simply mean that Ludo wasn't looking at the camera, so he just looks like a black pillow or shadow or something...) A few months back i was describing online a compound bow to a friend... And i stopped what i was doing and said "hang on, let me e-mail you a picture). She lives in Atlanta and got to see the bow over a thousand miles away in an instant.

Even my cell phone has a camera-- i didn't buy it for that feature and i rarely use it, but it is still there.

But back in the 1800's photography was so rare and expensive, many people were not photographed until... they were dead. i saw a photo of an entire dead family; mom, dad, three/four children, dead of TB (or "consumption"), all propped up in chairs and their Sunday best, eyeballs painted on their eyelids... And this wasn't Crime scene photography, this was family portrait stuff. Little Susie just died? Well, the family is all here; this is a good time to take a family portrait with little dead Susie in the middle.

In the late 1800's post-mortem photography was quite an art form...Okay, maybe calling it an "art form" is a stretch, but it was morbidly common and not taboo. Some of these photos were taken more realistically with the subject laid out to rest in their coffin. Often a person would only have one or two photos taken of them in their entire life. If one hadn't been taken in life, well, one would be taken in death...

Photography is so commonplace in this day and age that it has lost its permanency. Add to that Photoshop and other digital enhancing, and you might not even be able to believe what you see anymore. But then again i guess a little paint on a dead child's eyelids is just a primitive form of Photoshop...

(oh, and for you non-Wisconsinites, Wisconsin Death Trip is the title of a book that came out about 20 years ago that happens to include some post-mortem photography. don't want anyone to think that it is a suicide reference...)

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Sponsored By...

For those of you that have been visiting my site over the years you'll notice something different about it-- all the damned Google ads. Yes, *I* put them there. The hope is that they will generate enough revenue so that this site is self sufficient; this site costs about $45 a year to keep on the air, which is not bad. i got the idea from my friend, Steel Buddha (www.steelbuddha.net)

The way the ads are supposed to work is that they read the text on the page and pick online dealers that match the text content. The matches are pretty OK...

i earned my first $1.50 in the last few days, so at this rate the site will come close to paying for itself.

i guess that is what i like about NASCAR-- they are upfront and blatant about their sponsorships. They know that without the HUGE sponsorships, the sport would not exist. The cars and drivers are rolling billboards, and they don't hide it. They know who writes the checks...

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Dances with Aquanet

So, why does the white woman in Dances With Wolves, Stands With a Fist, why does she have a very white, very 1980's hairstyle, even though she's been living with the Lakota for upwards of thirty years?. She would wear it like the other woman in the tribe-- all long, possibly some braids, not feathered bangs....

it is one tiny little thing that would add so much more credibility to this film. But instead, Stands With a Fist blow dries her hair every morning before beating laundry against a rock...

By the way, the ship sinks at the end...

So, i watched Titanic for the first time ever tonight, and it was pretty good. The love story was pretty cheesy, but hey... Something that pissed me off (not VERY pissed...) was near the beginning when she's threatening to jump off the back of the ship, and Leo talks her into not jumping... Kate has that moment where she slips a bit...

COME ON! Don't bother playing film-maker games like that with us because we KNOW that she's going to be just fine! The movie has barely started, and we know perfectly well that her character not only survives that little slip, but survives the FUCKING TITANIC SINKING...

'Tis the Reason for the Season



The Clapper.

Commercials have started for the things you would never buy for yourself but "make a great gift!" when i was at the grocery store earlier today, they had Clappers, and they are $20! Most appliances in this day and age have remote controls, even my air conditioner came with one. Hell, a lot of car stereos have remote controls, and you're no more than a foot and a half from the thing while you're driving...

So, the commercial for the Clapper ends with Grandma turning off her ancient black & white TV with a Clapper. Come on, you cheap ass grandkids! The least you can do for Grandma is buy her a decent TV! Then she won't need the Clapper AND she can actually change the channels as well! Get her a VCR as well; they are almost as cheap as the damned Clapper. It's the thought that counts? "It's the thought that stinks!"

Thursday, December 08, 2005

*I* want to be a Millionaire

i am watching "Who Wants to be a Millonaire" and a woman just wasted TWO lifelines on a question i knew before they revealed the four answer-choices. *I* need to go on this show...

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Dear Penthouse, you'll never believe this, but....

every once and awhile you'll hear stories on the news of online predators that seek out vulnerable children/teens who post VERY personal info about themselves through forums such as this one that i am using right now. every once and awhile i will get instant messaged by total strangers and i always wonder to myself, "what is this person trying to get from me?" well, they don't get ANYTHING from me unless they tell me why they sought me out (i've been contacted in this way by relatively legitimate-sounding people, but i still always assume that no one is who they say they are).

i know a couple people that have abandoned their blogs because they got themselves into trouble by posting info that was too personal. and not that they were abducted and raped due to postings, but "so and so lied to me, so and so repeated the lies i told here, so and so was hurt by the lies i told..."

come on, people. blogs are a VERY PUBLIC FORUM. if you want to keep something secret but for some reason feel the need to write it down, write it down in a notebook and then burn the notebook, scatter the ashes in the ocean and then never speak of it ever again...

ugh, now i'm bored.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Stand and Deliver

so, Wisconsin just passed Conceal and Carry for Wisconsin. with training and a license a person can carry a concealed firearm. personally, i don't get the "concealled" part; woudn't it make more sense to KNOW who is and who is not carrying a weapon?

i'll probably get the permit-- and then carry nothing but an unloaded blackpowder pistol...

in sickness and in health

i'm home sick with a bit of a cold... my apartment is so dry that i was up all night hacking my lungs out. i've been boiling water all day to humidify the apartment... i think that it is helping. i spent most of the day sleeping and i have tomorrow off anyway. but i have soup...

Friday, December 02, 2005

Same as it never was

So i just got done watching some old puppet-mation Christmas special, and i know i never considered this one in particular one of the best of the season... But WOW watching it all these years later i find it, well, terrible. i watched the second half of Rudolph last night and THAT one is still just as good, and i'll drop whatever i'm doing any time of year to watch Charlie Brown Christmas...

the animation style is identical to all those other puppet ones, and Davey & Goliath... oh, this one was Santa is coming to town. Nothing even remotely clever about it.

but what i REALLY don't get is, with fruitcake being SUCH a widespread joke, why would ANYONE give a fruitcake as a gift? Unless there are people out there that truly like it. The kind that my grandmother would give us was more of a whitebread with candied fruit in it and a bit of icing on top. Every year i'd try it and every year i would never finish my slice...

Thursday, December 01, 2005

i hate subtle


ha ha ha... izzy wants a happy christmas, and i don't have any blood-relatives that i talk to enough to expect xmas presents...

one thing that i want is this http://www.meerschaum.com/images/rc453.jpg cuz i'm all about the pipes these days...

looks like the Yahoo Utilikilt group is going to be buying me a kilt (or actually, helping to buy me a kilt; i still have $50 Kilt-Bucks from my time volunteering at festival booths) i don't want anyone to think that i am freeloading for a kilt, but i'm still pretty psyched that ANYBODY chipped in to help me (shout out to "you know who you are"!)

maybe someone will read this and make my xmas dreams coem true...

Flying With Scissors

The TSA is thinking about lifting the ban on carrying on board pointy objects such as scissors, screwdrivers, and pocketknives, all within "appropriate" sizes. It would be standard sized sewing/crafting scissors, smallish screwdrivers, and mini pocketknives, you know the kind that are small enough to go on a keychain.

Lighters will still be banned, and the rules on matches are still spotty, but thank GOD i will be able to fly with my toe nail clippers in my carry-on again!

i had a stubby flathead screwdriver (about 2 1/2 inches long) confiscated on my way home from Ft. Lauderdale in October of 2003. i had my shinebox as a carry-on, and usually i am very good at "proofing" my carry-ons for anything that might be questionable. i had the screwdriver in my shinebox to open my Huberd's Boot Grease cans (they are like tiny paint cans) and i just wasn't thorough proofing my carry-on this time. i'm OK with them confiscating it, it's their job. But they made a HUGE deal about the fact that i had it at all. they could have left it at "you can't have this on board" and i would have said "oops, my fault, my loss." i feel lucky that i wasn't strip searched for it or anything. not that they would have found anything (and i won't even joke "they would have found my bomb" because i KNOW from shared experience that you don't joke with customs) but getting singled out as "a potential threat" would have really sucked. but it would have made a great story. and i'm also grateful that i doidn't screw up with something VALUABLE, but i tend to leave valuables at home.

Statistics say that flying is safer than driving based on the vast number of people who do NOT die, or are even involved, in plane accidents. i myself have flown thousands of miles even in just the last couple years and i have never crashed or been sliced to bits with chunks of shrapnel that used to be the drinks-cart.

Now, in that same vein, how many airplanes have been hi-jacked with knitting needles, screwdrivers, or even box-cutters? Despite what the current administration would like us to believe, few airplanes (statistically speaking) have actually been hi-jacked. i'll be the first to say that even ONE hi-jacking in all the history or commercial aeronautics is one too many hi-jackings.

But, purely statisically speaking, you have more to fear from faulty mechanics and drunk pilots than you will ever have to fear from people with disposable razors and grandmas with crochetting needles. or bootblacks with stubby flathead screwdrivers.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

To be in England in the Summertime...

last night i dreamt that i moved to London with little more than a backpack. Took the tube from Heathrow to Bayswater station. the station had been rennovated since i was there ten years ago-- the entire station was decorated with tiny, light blue tiles that were already showing considerable wear. i walked down Bayswater Rd looking for Inverness Terrace where my hostel was but i was having trouble finding it... all the streets looked more like aisles at Home Depot than London streets.

i got back on the tube and headed to Chelsea to find a welfare office. the stop that i got off at had a park just outside the station. i stared to cross the park, and Billy Connolly (actor, played the Union sergeant in "The Last Samurai") threw a baseball at me. i don't know why... he yelled something at me, but i don't remember what. he threw just the one baseball though.

the welfare office sucked of course. i get my turn in line and the woman sniped at me for not having the proper forms filled out ahead of time, but i had no way of knowing that there were forms i needed to have filled out ahead of time... but i get my forms filled out, and with much ado i am approved for welfare.

i think that Billy Connolly was waiting for me outside the welfare office, but i don't remember if he threw another baseball at me, but i made my way back across the park to the tube station, with nothing but my my backpack and some cash in my pocket. i hope to be more prepared than that if i ever actually go back...

Saturday, November 19, 2005

the morning after

okay, yes, it's actually afternoon, but i'm finally out of bed...

woke up around 9am with my arm feeling like freshly tenderized hamburger, so i dug out the heating pad (which made me very popular with the cats). i know that moving around will help the pain work away faster than just lying in bed, but lying in bed was SO MUCH EASIER...

talked to the owner of the Tazzbah, and he definitely wants me back. Great Lakes Harley Riders all want me at all of their club nights. with the holidays coming up, we might not do anything until January. The bar is having it's anniversary party in January, so that will be a definite. i've got some simple modifications to make to my chair, but other than that i am ready to plunge back into bootblacking regularly!

it IS good to be the bootblack!

i'm home, i have beer in my tummy and i have polish on my face! The Tazzbah and Great Lakes Harley Riders were AWESOME to me tonight! until i got there tonight i had no idea that part of the GLHR theme for their fliers advertising tonight was "IZZY IS BACK!" i blacked boots tonight that haven't been done since i got canned from the Harbor Room nearly two years ago. THAT is loyalty. but the bar wants me back and so do the Great Lakes Harley Riders!

(and i was nervous... worried that people wouldn't remember me...)

Friday, November 18, 2005

the time is now

in a couple hours i leave for the bar to bootblack for the first time in Milwaukee at a bar in close to two years. i'm actually getting nervous. in other recent bootblacking settings i was a "celebrity guest", which i hate to call it that but i can't think what else to call it. when i was in Atlanta, i was there to teach and to bootblack for as long as i wanted to because of my title. but here in Milwaukee, am anyone anymore? i was at my last bar for a year and a half, but i don't know how amny of those people will be there tonight. i know that i have one cusxtomer for sure, someone very special to me, and that will help kick things off.

it also helps that this is a club night, so there is a guaranteed large crowd.

i've got a great chair to work with, my kit is packed, and i've got tomorrow off from the day job... so i can stay as late as i like tonight.

now all i have to do is get there and get working.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

so many quizzes...

Numenorean
Numenorean


To which race of Middle Earth do you belong?
brought to you by Quizilla

the right track?

well... my website is back up after being down for a few months, i've got a bootblacking bar night coming up in a few days, and i just got some yummy new pipe tobacco... are things in my life shaping up? it's really cold out but my car started just fine; i found a shop that will be able to install my radio for fairly cheap; i am doing leathercrafting and what i'm making is looking nice; my apartment is staying fairly clean; i've been sleeping pretty well... i'm hoping that all of the bad stuff that has been happening (expensive car repairs, illness, travel expenses) is going to pay off karmically and now the good stuff will start happening again. dare i dream that maybe a beautiful and single woman will come sit in my shine chair Friday night?

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

just following orders

got this from my friend's LiveJournal:

"if you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, even if we don't speak often, please post a comment with a memory of you & me. it can be anything you want, either good or bad.

when you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog & be surprised (or mortified) about what people remember about you."

so, yeah... just do it...

Sunday, November 06, 2005

izzy gets a bar night in MILWAUKEE


after a nearly two-year "retirement", izzy finally has a place to
black here in Milwaukee!

Friday November 18th at The Tazzbah, a bar that has been open about
ten months: http://www.tazzbah.com/

they only have leather nights once a month, so even if they let me
black for every leather night, it still won't be a LOT of business,
but it's SOMETHING, and it's LOCAL. i'm also hoping that if i have
enough support and demand, maybe i can black on non-leather nights.

during the last two years i have worked one night at Cell Block in
Chicago IML weekend earlier this year; a half a dozen times at The
Exit, a BDSM-friendly club in Chicago; and here and there at events
that i was also teaching seminars.

WOO HOO!

Friday, November 04, 2005

gun play ain't sexy to me

let me just preface that YOUR THING IS YOUR THING AND MY THING IS MY
THING. there is "Safe, Sane, Consensual" and "Risk Aware Consensual
Kink" and they both have their places.

as a marksman and archer, for me weapons are not sexual toys. No
matter what anyone says, guns are created and designed to KILL.
Hunting, military protection, whatever. Guns have no purpose but to
KILL. Yes, you can target shoot... TO IMPROVE YOUR KILLING SKILLS.
i've not been in the military nor am i a hunter, so i have not killed
with my weapons nor do i hope to.

yes, i own firearms-- a .69 cal pistol, a .45 cal rifle, and a .75 cal
musket, all which will rip GINORMOUS holes in a human. and i own two
recurve bows, a compound bow, and a crossbow. Oh, and i own knives
and swords, too. i'm not anti-weapon. but for me, weapons are not
sex toys. Weapons are tools to be respected and "feared" (if you want
to own a weapon, the worst thing you could do is fear it. respect it,
yes, but if you fear it, it will control YOU and that is where
problems happen).

all i can say is that IF YOU GUN PLAY, DON'T BE STUPID. respect the
power of the KILLING tool in your hand. if in gun play you point a
gun at someone, don't point a gun at someone that you wouldn't point
at yourself. think about it that way and hopefully no one will get
killed.

izzy
who bought her first firearm at 15, and after 20 years it is still my
favorite firearm...

"Family Feud" is a test of mediocrity

if you have to tell someone that you are interesting, you probably aren't

if you have to tell someone that you are smart, you cannot demonstrate it

if you have to tell someone that you are unique, you spend too much time being "different"

if you have ever described yourself as "ecclectic", you DEFINITELY spend too much time trying to be "different"

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Entropy and Dustbunnies

now that i'm done traveling for my leather titles, i decided that was time to clean my apartment; i mean really get crazy-thorough which included going room by room and spending a day on each room moving forniture to shampoo the carpets, i spent two hours scrubbing the kitchen floor; when i was done with the bathroom it smelled like a hospital; i washed window blinds in the bathtub...

but i guess i can't keep my apartment clean to save my life-- the junk mail builds up; dishes piled up while i was concentrating on other power-cleaning; i never did have the laundry-fest that i so desperately need... i even started a couple leatherwork projects and i have yet to clean up after myself on those.

okay, scraps of leather on the living room floor are a far cry from something as bad as moldy dishes under the couch (which i did NOT have before i started my power cleaning, i'm just using it as an extreme example...)

i just can't fathom why not making a mess is SO HARD... and now i'll be working on my Hallowe'en costume as well, and i probably WON'T clean up my leather mess first even though i'm done with what i was working on (sword belt with pistol hook, and a shoulder strap for my smaller shine box...)

and as my cat knocks stuff down behind me as he climbs and explores i realize that it doesn't help that i have two very zany and active cats that will forever contribute to the chaos that is my apartment...

Saturday, October 22, 2005

When smoke gets in your eyes

even though nicotene is a stimulant, smoking can actually calm a person down. it's because the smoker is putting so much "thought" into the act of breathing, kinda like yoga. seriously, like yoga.

of course in the long run, yoga is better for you than smoking.

the best part about smoking is all of the accessories-- shiny lighters, fancy cigarette cases, hand-rolled cigarettes. And give me a Black Russian over a Marlboro any day... Cloves are a special treat, too. when i started my leather title traveling, i took up smoking again and i would pretty much just smoke at events. now that i'm done with the title circuit, i still smoke some, but i can go days or weeks without touching a cigarette, smoke a pack in a night, and go weeks again without one.

lately i've been getting into pipe smoking. it's smells nicer, is more "dignified", cheaper than cigarettes, satisfies the oral fixation, conversation piece at bars (the few bars that will let you smoke a pipe). AND IT'S ALL ABOUT THE ACCESSORIES.

i have a Meerschaum pipe carved with a lion's face on it. i have wooden cess pieces that i use as pipe tamps. i currently have three flavors of tobacco. i keep all of it in a tin box. i also have a LONG stem clay pipe. the long stem helps keep the smoke cooler.

i've had a couple pipe smoking dreams in the last week. the earlier one was a pipe smoking party (essentially) and the dream included actual people in my life. LOTS of fancy smoking gear.

last night's dream i was at a real bar here in Milwaukee (one that DOESN'T allow pipe smoking, ironically) and the bartender gave me a pipe to smoke that was filled with what looked more like a mixed greens salad than anything else. kinda tasted minty. and NO it wasn't pot. the pipe didn't have a stem and it strongly resembled a tree stump. you kinda just put it near your mouth (there was no stem, remember?) and inhaled.

Uhle's, a tobacco shop downtown has a couple flavors that i want to try; one is the House Blend flavored with vanilla and maple. they have another blend with chocolate. i've been meaning to stop up there. i might still do that today, but i'll have to do it soon. right now, i don't even have pants on. got out of the shower and had myself a pipeful of Prince Albert vanilla in my longstem clay pipe.

Friday, October 21, 2005

Alternate Reality

i just saw a commercial for a Special Edition of the movie Titanic with three extra hours of bonus features and an alternate ending...

"Alternate ending"? what, the HMS Titanic DOESN'T SINK?

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Like the Weather

i am actually one of those people that has aches and pains when the weather changes, and gosh it makes me feel old. it's from an injury that i got back in 1992, and it has been bothering me ever since, but i was just thinking about it today because my foot is aching today...

back in 1992 we went out the night before New Year's Eve to go see a band called Wild Kingdom (they were basically an institution here in Milwaukee at the time) and by the end of the night my foot was pretty sore, but i didn't think about it too much.

the next day when i woke up, i got out of bed and FELL OVER from the pain in my foot...

i crawled to the bathroom by basically sliding along on my side pulling myself across the living room by pulling on the couch.

it took me all day to manage to put weight on my foot to be able to stand and walk, and i used a "cane" (broomstick) for several weeks to get around town. i didn't have insurance, i couldn't afford to go to the doctor. i just dealt with the pain and didn't think too much of it.

i later found out (years later) that i BROKE my foot. it aches when it gets cold or damp out. my right foot is significantly larger than my left-- i bought a pair of army cold weather boots. the left boot fits perfect but the right boot (these boots are rubber and felt, not leather, so there is no give to them) the right boot does not fit. i went to a surplus store and tried on boots... the next size larger is WAY too big for my left foot but fits my right foot perfect... so i have to wear a 5R ("regular") on my left foot and a 5W (wide) on my right. luckily i found two pairs for cheap enough to make it affordable to buy two pairs to fit my goofy feet...

i just don't know what to do with the other two boots...

Friday, October 14, 2005

boys and girls

You Are 60% Boyish and 40% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch.
Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes.
You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them.
You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

What's in a name?

In Germany, boy babies must be given boy names and girl babies must be given girl names; it's the law. Gener-ambiguous names my st be qualified with a hyphenated name or middle name that clarifies the child's gender. IT'S THE LAW.

i am watching "Run Lola, Run" ("Lola Rennt" auf Deutsch) and since i'm only listening and not really watching, i thought that i would try listening with the English language track.

i lasted about 30 seconds. hell no.

"Das Boot" was done very well, but i won't watch this with the English. Franke Potente speaks English, so they shoudl have at least had her speak her own part...

die Tasche, die Tasche, DIE TASCHE....

PS: Manni looks a bit like the only boyfriend i have ever had. My boyfriend did actually spend his first four years or so of life in Germany...

Friday, September 02, 2005

If i were a rich man....

i wouldn't be so miserable... la da da la da dee dadi dee da didle da d a da dee... (that was a pathetic attempt at "If I Were a Rich Man" from "Fiddler on the Roof"

i'm so broke... but what are they going to do... KILL ME???

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Ten things that i wish i had known two years ago

Advice for a new Titleholder
(or Ten things that i wish i had known two years ago)

You will always hear the standard advice: Don’t agree “absolutely” to anything until you check your schedule and your finances; eat well; get as much sleep as you can; water is important; have fun... but there are things that i learned along the way that i wish i had thought of at the beginning...

1. Look into Frequent Flyer programs instead of just going straight for the cheapest flight. i flew a lot in my two years holding titles, and i possibly could have earned a free trip by now if i stuck to one airline

2. Save EVERYTHING. Get a box and toss everything from your travels into it. Skip the 100+ ads for WET, but save your boarding passes, event programs, flight plans. You can always toss it out later if you accumulate too much, but in the meanwhile saving all that stuff is a great map of where you have been.

3. Come up with how you are going to store/display your run pins before you lose any. Personally i’m not into that “Boy Scout” look of keeping them all on a vest, but there are lots of other ways to show them off. Maybe display them tacked to a square of leather that you hang on the wall. i glue them to the inside of my wooden shine box.

4. Organize the business cards you accumulate. Get a three ring binder and some baseball card collecting pages. A pack of baseball card pages is like two bucks for ten, and each page holds nine cards.

5. Get business cards of your own. There are lots of cheap computer programs for creating and printing business cards, and the pages of cards are pretty cheap as well.

6. Create an e-mail address that is JUST for “Title business”. Through Hotmail and Yahoo you can create as many e-mail addys as you want for free. Make it something related to your title so it is easy for others to remember and/or spell when they want to write to you.

7. If you can afford the initial cost, get a digital camera. You can find remanufactured digital cameras on e-bay for $100 or less. If you like to take pictures, you will save in film and processing costs in no time. Also—get rechargeable batteries. CD burners (so that you can store long term all of your photos) run as cheap as $25.

8. Don’t feel bad if you don’t remember everyone’s names. i am terrible at names when i first meet someone. i tend to remember names of people that i have heard about before ever meeting them in person.

9. If you are flying, pack only as much as you can carry because you just might have to, and you might have to carry it far...

10. And something that i DID know, but will stress because it is important (and i also wanted my list to be a nice, round, 10 things): having a title entitles you to NOTHING special. It does not mean that you will always get a date (or get a date at all). It does not mean that people will always care who you are. It does not mean that you will get things for free. It does not mean that you will get your way. But i guarantee that you WILL make friends you shouldn’t trust; you WILL suffer from disappointments; you WILL have moments, even if fleeting moments, where you WILL wonder if your title is worth the hassle/gossip/expense. Just remember—it is up to YOU and no one else to make your title year worth all of that, because if you do it right, it WILL BE.

izzy
Great Lakes Bootblack 2003
International Ms. Bootblack 2004
PET YOUR BOOTBLACK

Monday, August 22, 2005

KILTS GALORE!

you know you had a good night at the bar when you've got Boba Fett looking for you the next morning...

i worked at the Utilikilt booth for Gen Con and had a BLAST telling men to take off their pants. that was actually my sales pitch: "Come on in and take off you pants!" yeah, that got a lot of attention at a gaming convention! some guys were shocked that i MEANT it, too! wrapped s kilt around their waist and said "okay, drop trou!"

the bittersweet "highlight" of the weekend was when i met the brother of an old friend of mine who was killed in a motorcycle accident 11 years ago. he overheard me tell someone that wearing a kilt in Indiana shouldn't be too shocking since there is so much historical reenacting in Indiana. and i also said that i am involoved in historical reenacting. i happened to mention Tippecanoe Ancient Fife and Drum, which caught the brother's attention. when it was his chance to get fitted, he told me that he WANTED a kilt but couldn't afford one because he had just bought a new motorcycle. i feel really stupid that i can't remember if his name was Adam or Alex or what... but here's the conversation in a nutshell...

brother: so, how long have you been involved in reenacting?

me: about twenty years

brother: did you know Derek Catt?

me: yeah, he marched with us for a couple years

brother: he was my brother

me: oh my god, wow. wow. he dated my friend Kym. wow

brother: yeah i remember her. small world!

me: yeah, he marched with us, but who DIDN'T he march with!

yeah, i met Derek back in 1987 when my friend Ilsa (she was 11 yrs old at the time) befriended him. she probably had a crush on him, but he was around 18 yrs old at the time :D. Derek was motorcycle-safety man... reflective tape all over his helmet, leathers, etc. just took one person to NOT pay attention... he was a good kid.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

ha ha ha

my cat is watching TV... intrigued by the strange flashing shapes. Koshka LOVED NASCAR...

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

the 21st century

holy christ i just bought a picture phone...

okay, it was free because of the Verizon "New Every Two" plan, and these days all new phones are picture phones...

i got this one because it's got Bluetooth and that means when i have spare cash to burn i can get one of those wireless headset things to use while driving. And honestly it doesn't hurt to have a brand new phone every once and awhile since cellphones are hardly durable...

damn i'm gonna geek out with this thing...

Monday, August 15, 2005

pain at the pump

i like to drive. i like a LOT to drive. driving hard, fast, balls to the wall. nothing dangerous; i don't make foolish driving choices, i just don't make timid driving choices.

but with how expensive gas is getting, i'm working on bleeding the rock-- driving more sedately to maximize my MPG. my car has a real-time MPG meter, and last night for my drive home i averaged 33.8 MPG for the trip with moments reaching nearly 36 MPG. my old average per tank was closer to 27, which is not bad for a V6 sportscar. but because of a performace chip the car requires 91+ octane, usually twenty cents more a gallon than standard grade.

so glad i have to go to Indy this weekend... AND next weekend :)

Thursday, August 11, 2005

favorite boots ever

my favorite boots ever would have to be my first pair. purchased back in 1990 in Madison, WI at a hole in the wall Army surplus store off of State Street for about $40 or so. they were brand new army issue of an obsolete style (the man at the shop said that they are referred to as "pancake" boots because the toes flatten out relatively fast).

i bought them for my Study Abroad semester in London that started January 7th 1991. my first long walk in them was form the hostel to Buckingham Palace (about an hour). NOT a good way to break in new boots... my feet were so sore, i had to unlace them to JUST tight enough to not fall off my feet. we took the Underground back to the hostel (thank the gods; i couldn't walk another step that day...)

but after my feet recovered, i did a LOT of walking around London; i convinced a good percentage of the group to walk places with me-- if we were seeing a show for Theatre class there was usually enoug time between dinner and showtime to walk to the West End (sometimes even walk home).

Our class schedule was open enough that we had a great deal of free time, which were were encouraged to use sightseeing. for the sake of excercize and saving money, we walked as much as possible to the point where i was easily walking 10-15 miles a day.

this wear and tear was taking its toll on my boots, and it was during this semester that i realized that i was going to have to figure out FAST how to get the most life out of my boots by taking care of them the best i could. i think that the tin of Kiwi that i was using was just the tin of polish that had been in the junk drawer at home since the dawn of time (i never saw anyone in my family polish shoes, but still that tin moved three times with us...) and i was using a toothbrush to "buff" the polish until i found a more proper brush in Cambridge at a street vendor... Even still, a bootblack was in the making...

by the time the semester was over, the soles were worn completely smooth, but i didn't have the money to buy a new pair (and my size is hard to come by... i now realize how lucky i was to have found THIS pair fairly easily).

Those boots ran the Olympic track in Rome, explored the Catacombs of Paris, dug in to the WWI trenches of Belgium, marched through Checkpoint Charlie in Berlin, climbed the stairs to Anne Frank's annex in Amsterdam, tread the grounds of Buchenwald where so many gays were imprisoned, tortured and worked to death by the Nazis.

and one day, those boots went missing-- as so many of my personal possessions did over the course of a five year period i wish never happened... (the bitch stole my Christmas stocking, for pete's sake!)

A few months ago at my favorite Goodwill, i found an EMMACULATE pair of pancake boots for all of three dollars. they were so new that the tread still had remnants of the moulding sprues. i bought them without even checking the size-- i didn't care if they fit or not; they were identical to my first pair! i checked the size when i got to the car... i actually got choked up when i realized that they WOULD fit. they are date-stamped from 1984.

i haven't worn the new boots much. they sit on the top shelf of my boot rack. actually i think the last time i wore them was at IML... for Alan's Last Shine and then that evening on stage when i was up on stage for the announcement of the new IMrBB, Arthur.

they will be saved for specical occasions.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Fifes and Drums

f you live near here:
http://www.fort-ticonderoga.org/visit/directions.htm

come see me and the River Valley Colonial Fifes and Drums at the
National Muster of Fifes and Drums!

it's this coming weekend and is Saturday/Sunday (August 6th and 7th)

izzy
http://www.rivervalleycolonials.com
and more pics on my personal site:
http://www.izzythebootblack.com

Sunday, July 31, 2005

kilts proven to be a masculine garment

originally posted on the Utilikilts Yahoo group

some of you know me and some of you don't, but for those of you who
don't know me i am izzy, one of about a half-dozen Utili-chicks on
this list.

anyway, i was wearing my Postal Blue neo-trad and a t-shirt at work
yesterday (retail-- used bookstore chain) and i can hear this woman
coming down the aisle calling to me (she's about twenty feet away...
and she's only seen me from behind):

"Sir, excuse me... SIR!" now, i KNOW that she is talking to me, but i
decide to milk it...(and NO i'm not offended by her calling me "sir"
in this situation, only when people call me "Sir" when looking me in
the face...)

"SIR! EXCUSE ME!" she approaches and i turn around. i AIN'T no guy :)

okay, sure from behind all she can see is boots, kilt, BIG black
tattoos, and a mohawk pulled back into a ponytail... but she thought i
was a guy because i was wearing a KILT. and this is in Wisconsin
Suburban Hell (Brookfield, about a half hour west of Milwaukee).

so, for those of you worried about getting called a chick or a
crossdresser for wearing a kilt, stop worrying so MUCH... sure it will
still happen but not because those people are honestly confused.
People will call you those things because those people are mean and
insecure.

no, it doesn't take guts for a chick to wear a kilt, but it does take
some guts for a chick to do a lot of the other things i do.

izzy

Thursday, July 28, 2005

i'm a hard-core Pirate. Yar.

did i mention that i recently ate gunpowder to impress a chick? okay, it was a few weeks ago, but i wasn't even drunk (yet, the drunking came later) but she WAS impressed! (okay, what does it say about me that i would do THAT to impress a chick? what does that say about HER that she would be impressed?)

we were talking about pirates (yar) and she mentioned this one woman pirate that would make her crew drink drinks with gunpowder in them. and i'm like "i've eaten gunpowder before..." so i got out my priming flask, poured about a Brown Bess pan's worth of powder in the palm of my hand, and licked it up. and i lived to tell the tale.

yar.

Monday, July 25, 2005

International Ms. Leather 2005

(this entry was written over the course of many days since i got back from IMsL...)

well, here it is, the Wednesday EARLY morning after International Ms. Leather. Lori and i have stepped down to make way for the new IMsL, Jessi, and IMsBB, Suka. But let's back this journey up by a week...

i left my house in Milwaukee at 10 am to pick up Carolyn (who was vending at IMsL) and Suka in Chicago. i was SO PARANOID that there wouldn't be enough room for the three of us and the stuff we needed in my tiny little car. Carolyn's box of vending material was smaller than i remembered and she packs LIGHT for travel. Suka was sending along as much as she could with Leslie, who was not going to be in Omaha until Friday afternoon. we ended up with a LOT more room than i thought!

No A/C in the little Corrado, but we made excellent time on our way... Mapquest said 7 hours and 45 minutes of drive time... we did the drive in about 8 including stops. i LOVE my car. (side note; i've known Carolyn since 1992 and this was the first time that she was ever in a car with me driving. talk about trial by fire-- three people and a lot of luggage on a road trip in a tiny fastback going nearly 90 MPH...)

we hit the World's Largest Truck Stop just outside of Davenport, IA along I-80. i was expecting the bartender from the Mos Eisley bar to pop out of nowhere and say "We don't serve their kind here..."

we make it to the Redick just before dark, get our room, and get BEER! we watch "Aqua Team Hunger Force" on Cartoon Network. i didn't get the appeal...

Thursday morning greets us with greasy bacon, powdered eggs, and weak Folgers... but it's all free, which makes everything taste better. Contestant meeting at 10 am, and i sit in on it becuase i have NOTHING else to do (it is also at the contestant meeting that i find out that i will have to wear a cheerleading skirt in the opening number of the show on Saturday night. this shit IS BANANAS!) we also take a stroll over to the bar, The Maxx, where the Saturday show is taking place... AWESOME looking bar-- multi-level, glass, mirrors, real clean, nice colors...

Lots more free time spent in the bar, until it is time for us to go off to dinnder at a bar/restaurant/arcade. i draw a crowd at a shooting game that i am playing, and GVlenda Rider asks, "You own real weapons, don't you?" Yes, yes i do... Eric is buying Miller Beer by the BUCKET (five bottles comes in bucket of ice) and i'm sucking down Harp like its water. Friday morning was not the happiest place on earth.

The vendor mart on Friday is slow for the vendors and Suka doing boots. Since the main events of workshops and the finale are Saturday, all day there are people still arriving at the hotel. But the evening gets off to an early and good start with the basket auction in the Redick Grille. For there being only four auction baskets, the baskets do VERY well raising money for the two travel funds. but i have to get up early Saturday for my tattoo, so i'm in bed by midnight-ish... i think...

Johnna of Liquid Courage Tattoo picks me up in the lobby at 8:30 am to take me back to the shop to get my latest tattoo... she thinks it will take up to four hours of time to do, but my skin takes the ink so easily the tattoo is done in one hour on the dot. She's good, but MAN is she a sadist! i've been under the needle for a total of about thirteen hours and i have NEVER felt anything quite so painful! SHITE!

back to the hotel. too awake to nap, too tired to do much, i help Carolyn with her jewelry booth. i think about my stepdown speech... i procrastinate "writing" my speech... (never DID write anything down, but i joke that it will be nothing more than "my travel fund is gone. Y'all owe me a beer.")

The club hosintg the Saturday show is INCREDIBLE (which i might have mentioned but i don't remember since i'm writing this BLOG over the course of many days). the opening number is fun and goofy, and includes past IMsLs and IMsBBs in cheerleading skirts and carrying pom poms...

Great fantasies, great speeches, and also a tattoo contest that kept growing by the minute (thankfully the tattoo contest broke my stage fright before i had to give my speech). Amanda "Pup" Farrell of NJ and also American Leather Woman 2005 won the tattoo contest.

Lori gave her speech first, and unveiled her watermelon-colored IMsL titlevest.

my speech was short, but i only forgot to say a few things that i wanted to say (and i even forgot the "buy me a beer" line) but i had a simple message: Bootblacks are here to serve the Leather Community, and we bootblacks come together as a community of our own to become better bootblacks. (it goes without saying that we have a good time together, too, but we are SUCH GEEKS when it comes to bootblacking techniques...)

So, the winners: Suka for bootblack, which she was unfortunately the only contestant. Breaks my heart that we had such a small turnout, but i met Suka at IMsL last year and we geek out together over boots. as i ALSO mentioned in my speech, i didn't teacher her everything that she knows, but i DID teach her everything that *I* know. so, it fills me with joy that someone that i worked with so closely went on to be the next titleholder. Jessi, Ms. Baltimore Eagle is the new International Ms. Leather. i hadn't met her until this weekend, but i had a good feeling that she would be the one the first time i saw her stand up in front of the room of us to introduce herself.

Back to the hotel for the victory party...

okay, here comes what has to be my favorite part of the weekend because i am THRILLED that something that i contributed became such a successful fundraiser for the travel fund. i had donated three pairs of boots and a Harley Davidson plush bulldog. each of those items raised $25 ish a piece-- NOT BAD! But then came "Bondage Bear"

and because THAT is another story (and kinda long) i end this entry here and have you continue the story with "Bernard, the $525 Bondage Bear"!

Bernard, the $525 Bondage Bear


Bondage Bears are strangely popular in the Leather comminuty, and so a few months ago i decided that *I* would dress a teddy bear in bondage gear that *I* made. my hope was that he would be well received because his gear was hand made by me. i was expecting him to raise $40-50. But Pat Bailie runs what she calls a "Chinese Auction" for one or two items per event... i probably can't explain this well enough for you to understand... someone opens with a bid, say $5, and that person has to pay in that $5 bid on the spot. Now, for the bidding to stay going, that $5 has to be matched by $5 from another bidder (also cash on the spot). if the bid is matched, bidding starts over at any amount. it becomes an interesting way to raise a lot of cash. let's back up a bit. Bondage Bear is cute. damned cute. and soft and cuddly and squishy. Suka slept with him Wednesday night. i slept with him Friday night. he's a good cuddling/napping bear. i carried him around with me all weekend letting people hug him and i was also promoting the auction. i was becoming quite attached to Bondage Bear *BUT* i promised that he would be donated. that's what her was created for and that's what i was going to do.

when Pat called me up on the balcony of the hotel bar to start the auction, i raised Bondage Bear above my head and the crowd broke out with a deep-from-the-heart "AWWWWWWWWWWW!" i told everyone that the bear was a TY brand bear (they make Beanie Babies) and that his gear was made by me.

and the bidding started.

the room went crazy. five dollars here, twenty dollars there, back to a dollar... around in circles it went until one woman asked "Will you take a check?" "Yes, we'll take a check" Pat answered.

This woman had been standing almost directly below where i stood on the balcony. she had winked at me a couple times when she had made twenty dollar bids douring the round of bidding. but this time the woman holds up her checkbook and says "I bid one hundred dollars". DAMN she wants this bear! Her $100 isn't matched, so she wins the bear. i run down the stairs to present the winner with the Bear and to thank her for her generosity. i hand her the bear. She looks at me kinda confused (because at that point i didn't know how else to describe the look on her face) and she says "He's YOUR bear." and i answer "Yeah, and you were the high bidder. He's yours now!"

i NOW know that the look on her face was "You silly girl" because she hands the bear back to me and says "I won him for YOU. He's YOUR bear. I've watched you carry him around all weekend and i know how much you would miss him. I won him for YOU." HOLY FUCKING SHIT. it turns out that there were at least three OTHER people in the audience that were bidding on him to give him back to me as well! Sometimes the Human Race can really surprise you.

So, the least that i could do was have the winner name the Bear. She picked "Bernard". So, when i got back to Milwaukee, i had a name tag made for him in one of those vending machine-type tag engraver machines:

BERNARD
THE 525 DOLLAR
BONDAGE BEAR
I BELONG TO IZZY

he will come with me to all the rest of my events.

he was such a HUGE success (SURPASSING my expectations) that i'm going to make more bears for more fundraisers. i don't expect all of them to be as successful as Bernard (and i don't expect any more of them to be bought for ME) but i have more time than money. if i can help people raise MONEY with the donation of my TIME it's a win/win situation

Sunday, July 24, 2005

naked under my clothes

so i went to Harbor Room tonight and i was wearing a kilt and my boxers were pissing me off in the bathroom so i took them off and gave thme to emalee.... and even though i am home i feel nekkid...

Saturday, July 23, 2005

Oh, the debauchery!

went to Exit in Chicago last night to help Carolyn celebrate her b-day. i guess it was a good night...

she was running their Fetish Rummage Sale. i bought a pair of boots for $15.

now, i started the night with $30, and the boots were $15, but i was still able to get shitfaced. SO shitfaced that i puked at the bar (haven't done that in about ten years) and took a boy back to Carolyn's house with me... (a REAL boy, not a biologically -female "boi"... but he SMELLED SO GOOD) actually Carolyn has been friends with this guy for years and i have met him before, so it wasn't COMPLETELY random... but still very strange... hmm... when's the last time i made out with a straight boy? been a few years.

you know izzy's drunk when she's making out with boys... but ya know, you need a little debauchery every so often...

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

the taste of fear

i almost got in an accident on my way home from work today... i would have been sandwiched between some idiot making an illegal move and someone else not paying attention to the fact that said idiot was making an illegal move...

but in Wisconsin you are still at least 10% at fault... for being in the way...

so yes, you are at fault because you got out of bed and got in to your car...

ah, bureaucracy...

Monday, July 18, 2005

i can't believe this shit...

so, we took my car to IMsL this past weekend. i tell Carolyn, "i'd trust my LIFE with this car... it will get us there and back no problem..."

Sunday on our way home we were making EXCELLENT time-- just after 40 minutes on the road we even caught up and passed friends of ours who left at least a half hour before us. we stop at Iowa 80, the World's Largest Truck Stop. as we are exiting the interstate, i start smelling burning rubber. now, with the Rabbit i got used to all the weird sounds and smells around me as probably BEING my car... but with the Corrado i don't have to worry as much... until NOW...

at first Carolyn and i assume that it is the stinky diesel bus in front of us, but i'm not completely convinced. then i see white smoke out the front grille. it's me, it's MY CAR...

we park quickly and open the hood. nothing. lingering smell, but no smoke. we are not overheating. maybe it WAS just the stinky bus.

we go eat. shop for truck stop type gifts... after an hour or so we get back into the car and head out. we even see another red Corrado on our way out (and exchange happy waves). so far no problems...

and then quickly the smell returns in full force. Carolyn sees more white smoke out the front on the passenger side. we make an illegal U-Turn crossing the Interstate and retun to the truck stop. there is a hotel very close by. we get a room and spend the night.

call the closest VW dealer in the morning. "How long are you in town?" they ask. "Well," i reply, "we are ONLY in town because of our breakdown." the dealer promises to get us in ASAP and then we call AAA.

the repair was the serpentine belt tensioner (and the smell was the serpentine belt rubbing and failing). $400 later we are back on the road with a new belt and tensioner. they got us on the road by 1:30.

after dropping off Carolyn at home in Chicago, i finally get home from IMsL at 8:00pm. my car repairs for the last three weeks now total $2000.

but at least my kittens are happy to see me.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

i'd like to think that this is true

this is from a link on Steelbuddha's blog

Part Expert Kisser


You're a kissing pro, but it's all about quality and not quantity
You've perfected your kissing technique and can knock anyone's socks off
And you're adaptable, giving each partner what they crave
When it comes down to it, your kisses are truly unforgettable

Part Passionate Kisser


For you, kissing is about all about following your urges
If someone's hot, you'll go in for the kiss - end of story
You can keep any relationship hot with your steamy kisses
A total spark plug - your kisses are bound to get you in trouble

Monday, July 11, 2005

Fountain of Youth

so, we've got these relatively new shelving carts at work... they are not much different than the old ones; same company (Rubbermaid); same color (gray); same size, still four wheels... but the new ones have drink holders.

Everything in America now has cupholders (to the point where people expect them; urban legend or truth, there is the story of the woman who called her computer tech to tell him that she broke the cupholder... which was actually the disc drive...)

A few years back i saw a commercial for a minivan... holds five, six adults but had SEVENTEEN CUPHOLDERS. now, since when do five people need 3.4 drinks? a PIECE? In a VEHICLE? And by law, not one of the drinks can even be alcoholic...

with that many cupholders, i think that Dodge Caravan had better have a pee bucket tucked away somewhere...

Saturday, July 09, 2005

it's not easy being green

Your Amazing Yoda Sex Line


"Who's your Jedi master? WHO'S your Jedi Master?"


Tuesday, July 05, 2005

the simple things in life

i want pizza. i want Pizza Shuttle pizza. i was actually surprised that they don't offer soy cheese pizza (the East Side has a lot of vegans). me, not vegan, but i have low tolerance to dairy. Clare made a cheesecake flan and i had a small piece-- i was feeling pretty OK so after an hour i had another tiny piece... that put me over my dairy-limit i guess...

i also want a twinkie. i don't know why. but now that i don't have a car, i want all of these things that i don't have and can't easily get. i'm so lame. i could have walked to the store, but i'm just too hung over to want to walk that far.

yes, must stop the gin.

the harsh light of gin

too much gin for another night this week... yeah, no more gin for quite awhile. more sleep, less gin...

but my car is back in the shop-- the master cylinder for the clutch hydraulics needs replacing. i don't know if it was related to the rock incident or not-- they didn't say-- but it will be another $700. and i'll be without my car for another several days. god i am hating my life right now...

Saturday, July 02, 2005

it's fate; it's kismet; i landed on my keys...

so, in the last couple of years i have built up this odd sort of Karma... with standard karma, if a person does good thing, they will be "rewarded" with good karma. a person that does bad things will be "punished" with bad karma. but in my life, the good is balanced with the bad... if something good happens to me, it is balanced out with something equally (or wose) bad.

but with all the things that have happened in just the last week, i am hoping that the karma wheel will spin the other direction, that my "suffering" will be rewarded with something really good...

damage to my car from a stray rock cost me $900, and they were repairs that HAD to be made (not cosmetic repairs). today on my way to work, the clutch peddal sank to the floor. when i took my car out of gear to downshift, i could not get my car back into gear until the car came to a complete stop at the side of the freeway...

i had my car towed to the closest VW dealership, expecting them to be open today (i called my regular repair shop and they were closed)... they were not open either... so, now my car is at a VW dealership in Brookfield about 20 miles from my regular shop... neither place will be open until Tuesday. Sigh.

yeah, something REALLY good had better happen REALLY REALLY soon...

Thursday, June 30, 2005

feel the love

i found out tonight that my blog was set up so that only members of blogger.com could post comments. i THINK that i have properly changed the settings so now anyone can post comments to my blog. aren't you lucky.

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

that rock got bigger

yeah i got my car back today and the final bill was $900.

Monday, June 27, 2005

might as well be a diamond

my car was hit today by a $700 rock...

i was driving up the freeway on my way to the fabric store (i want to make curtains... yes *I* want to make curtains. i know how to sew! do you want to make something of it?) but yeah i just bought an A/C, and to help keep my apartment cooler i want to make some curtains because i have six big windows in the living room. they've got blinds which help, but... anyway...

so i'm driving along and there is a lot of construction going on right now along that stretch. i am a few car lenghts behind a dumptruck and one lane over to the right... and out bounces a rock... too crowded and quick to swerve or anything, and it didn't look that big anyway... (big enough to see, small enough to not think about...) i ran over the rock, which bounced around under my car (sounded painful...)

anyway, i continue on my way... as i am exiting the freeway, i notice that it is harder to steer... feels like the power steering is out... but i pull over to see if there is anything visibly worse. not anything that i can tell... so i turn back around and head to my mechanic (about a half hour away.)

they are able to look at my car pretty quickly after i get there... power steering pump was hit, the fluid was all gone, the pump is fried from being w/o fluid, and the CV boot was torn...

they can have it done by tomorrow, which is nice, but parts and labor will cost over $700.

that's what credit cards are for... the things you need but can't afford. and while driving it without power steering not much more than annoying, waiting to fix it would make the whole thing MUCH worse and MUCH more expensive very quickly.

and THAT is my $700 rock.

who needs love like that?

A guy on the Utilikilts Yahoo discussion group was "assaulted" by a self-appointed woman playing Tartan Police. She gave him hell for being a non-Scot and wearing a kilt (even though Utilikilts are NOT Tartan kilts...) and my response to him was "as for people like her, i just feel sorry for them. i feel sorry that they need to waste so much time and effort judging the choices that i have made for me, the choices that do not impact their lives beyond the fact that they made eye contact with me."

which reminded me of a story...

a couple years back in my hometown, i stopped at Pick-N-Save to buy beer. The clerk was nearly old enough to be my mother, and there was one customer in line behind me. The clerk decided to strike up a conversation with the customer behind me... a discussion about ME and my nose ring... "Wow, don't cattle wear rings in their noses? Maybe put a chain on it and get lead around by it..." Comments like that. Of course, the man behind me agreed with the clerk 100%.

so, unfortunately it is only several years later that i came up with a great comeback... but i'll tuck it away hopefully to use at another time...

"I'd get FIRED for talking about a customer like that." and then insist on talking to a manager. i don't even care what she was commenting ON, it was that she was speaking negatively ABOUT ME to another customer... What if i had my nose pierced because i was from India? (or married to someone from India, since i with my reflectively white skin am CLEARLY not Indian...) a comment like that would be tantamount to commenting to a Jewish man wearing a yarmulke "So, where's the propeller for your beanie?" or saying to a veiled Muslim woman, "what, are you too ugly to be seen in public?"

i got my nose pierced while living in London fourteen years ago, and i got lots of compliments on it from the Indian women working at the local grocery store (my neighborhood was predominantly a mix of Middle Easterners and Asians). Now, i would have felt BAD and apologetic if the Indian women were offended that i had it done (since it's "their" thing) but if THEY like the nose ring on this white chick, then i have every right to wear it...

Friday, June 17, 2005

Es ist mir kalt

can i just say how thrilled i am that it is mid June and it is currently only 56 degrees? okay, it's midnight right now, but it didn't go above 70 degrees during the day... the cats are going crazy (in a happy good way) as opposed to lounging around in the heat (nothing is more patetic and sad than seeing a cat PANTING...) yes, i'm back to two blankets on the bed. a small slice of heaven :D

i'm never living anywhere than the Midwest...

Thursday, June 16, 2005

the right to remain silent

so, anyone who knows me knows that i have sleeping problems. last night i was actually sleepy at 9pm, so i went to bed. i didn't have to be up early today or anything, i just wanted to actually sleep...

so i had some crazy dreams last night (and i actually slept for a really long time)..

at one point we are scavenging through a vacant lot at night and find some Soviet era patriotic pins (and a LOT of them...) the police are coming in the distance, and so we scatter... but the police are calling for me specifically. i don't know why, so we just keep going.

Later... i must have been living in a dorm or something, because i'm in my room trying to sleep, and the police come for me. in just my boxers and a t-shirt, i am forced to my knees and hancuffed and accused of... MURDER.

well, they left me with my cell phone, so i was texting everyone that i could get a hold of...

i was being accused of murdering someone that i didn't even know.

i woke up around midnight, and heard outside what sounded like gunshots, ten in all. kinda wishin' i'd called the cops, but it's not like i had much info. hell, one time we heard an explosion in the middle of the night and called the cops, they showed up at our place four hours later. not like we had more info than we told them over the phone.

Sunday, June 05, 2005

car porn

in the next couple of days i'm going to be posting pics from the car show that i attened this morning... local VW club held a charity car show for Children's Hospital. i took 220 photos in less than two hours. i'm not posting all 200... but i will post a lot...

i've been calling photos of hot cars "car porn" for years, so i googled "car porn" to see if anyone else calls it that... hey i'm not the only one!

so, if you like Volkswagens, i'm gonna have a TON of pics up within the week... air-cooled and water-cooled. i love the Ghias and Type III's...

Friday, May 06, 2005

hang on a second...

when did i become someone who watches grown-up TV shows? i've been watching a LOT of Law & Order... and i even watched ER last night...

ah well, it's not like there is anything as good as the Dukes of Hazzard on anymore... what choice DO i have?

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

If you were a little girl in the '70's...

1) You wore a rainbow shirt that was half-sleeves, and the rainbow went up one sleeve, across your chest, and down the other.
yellow half-sleeved shirt with a multi-coloerd (but not a rainbow) stripe that went across the chest and looped around...

2) Or did you have a unicorn?
that was my BROTHER'S thing

3) You made baby chocolate cakes in your Easy Bake Oven or snow cones from your Snoopy Snow Cone Machine?
i got a Snoopy Snow Cons Machine for a HS graduation gift!

4) You had that Fisher Price Doctor's Kit with a stethoscope that actually worked?
no

5) You owned a bicycle with a banana seat and a plastic basket with flowers on it.
bannana seat had flowers, but no basket

6) You learned to skate with actual skates (not roller blades) that had metal wheels.
the roller rink did't allow metal wheels, and we roller-skated to Disco Star Wars and the Music Box Dancer, thankyouverymuch!

7) You thought Gopher from Love Boat was cute (admit it!)
watched it, but i had a crush on Charo

8) You had nightmares after watching Fantasy Island.
didn't watch it

9) You had rubber boots for rainy days or Moon boots for snowy days?
we wore bread bags over our feet inside our snow boots... how's THAT for cracker?

10) You had either a "bowl cut" or "pixie", not to mention the "Dorothy Hamil" because your Mom was sick of braiding your hair. People sometimes thought you were a boy.
i wouldn't get a haircut until i was 13... so i went straight from long plain hair to 80's hair...

11) Your Holly Hobbie sleeping bag was your most prized possession.
Holly Hobby was Devil's spawn. i cast her out with the powers above...

12) You wore a poncho, gauchos, and knickers.
i was a late-comer to the knickers fad, but not by my choice. i was still wearing mostly my brother's hand-me downs (sans unicorns...)

13) You begged Santa for the electronic game, Simon.
i didn't need it. my cousins had it

14) You had the Donnie and Marie dolls with those pink and purple satiny shredded outfits.
*shudder* ...no...

15) You spent hours in your backyard on your metal swing set with the trapeze. The swing set tipped over at least once.
ours was well anchored so it never fell over, but that didn't stop me from falling OFF of IT...

16) You had homemade ribbon barrettes in every imaginable color.
once i turned 5 i no longer had to wear barrettes

17) You had a pair of Doctor Scholl's sandals (the ones with hard sole and the buckle).
i would have had combat boots in Kindergarten if i had been allowed...

18) You wanted to be Laura Ingalls Wilder really bad; you wore that Little House on the Prairie-inspired plaid, ruffle shirt with the high neck in at least one school picture; and you despised Nellie Olson!
ruffles-- once again, Devil's Spawn. i don't know who Nellie Olson is...

19) You wanted your first kiss to be at a roller rink. Of course.
i didn't care WHERE it was as long as i could be kissing Lynda Carter!

20) Your hairstyle was described as having "wings" or "feathers" and you kept it pretty with the comb you kept in your back pocket.
yeah, we had those combs that they always gave you on picture day, but no feathers or wings...

21) You know who Strawberry Shortcake is, as well as her friends, Blueberry Muffin and Huckleberry Pie. And don't forget Apple Dumpling!
i learned the Strawberry Shortcake characters just last year (2004) when my friends went as the "Naughty Adult" versions of the main characters

22) You carried a Muppets lunch box to school and it was metal, not plastic.
i was SO CHEATED. my lunchbox was probably the last one on the bargain table, i bet, and it was a plastic JABBER JAW lunchbox... i'm still scarred...

23) You and your girlfriends would fight over which of the Dukes of Hazzard was your boyfriend.
it was all about the car, dude. and i had guy-friends at the time, not girl-friends.

23) Every now and then "It's a Hard Knock Life" from the movie, Annie will pop into your brain and you can't stop singing it the whole day.
i guess...

24) YOU had Star Wars action figures, too!
not only did i have Star Wars figures, i remeber that the Jawas originally came with PLASTIC capes, not cloth capes!

25) It was a big event in your household each year when the Wizard of Oz would come on TV. Your mom would break out the popcorn and sleeping bags!
i totally forgot the part about watching it in sleeping bags!

26) You often asked your Magic-8 ball the question: "Who will I marry. Shaun Cassidy, Leif Garrett, or Rick Springfield?"
ick, ick, and ick... even if i DID like guys...

27) You completely wore out your Grease, Saturday Night Fever, and Fame soundtrack record album.
Xanadu. Even saw it in the theater. Twice.

28) You tried to do lots of arts and crafts, like yarn and Popsicle-stick God's eyes, decoupage, or those weird potholders made on a plastic loom.
today all that is called "recycling"

29) You made Shrinky-Dinks and put iron-on kittens on your t-shirts!
we made our own iron-ons (draw on typing paper in reverse with crayons and that's your iron-on) and i had the COOLEST glow-in-the-dark Shrinky Dinks that had skulls and skeletons.

30) You used to tape record songs off the radio by holding your portable tape player up to the speaker.
we did that to songs on MTV... back when MTV played music and was commercial-free

31) You couldn't wait to get the free animal poster that came when you ordered books from the Weekly Reader book club. Double score if it was a teddy bear dressed in clothing.
um... no... i didn't read as a kid. i played outside...

32) You learned everything you needed to know about girl issues from Judy Blume books.
um, actually my brother read those... hmm...


33) You thought Olivia Newton John's song "Physical" was about aerobics.
wait... what's it REALLY ABOUT?

34) You wore friendship pins on your tennis shoes, or shoelaces with heart or rainbow designs.
i didn't have friends... that cared about stuff like that...


35) You wanted to be a Solid Gold dancer. Still do!
i think my brother and i played "Solid Gold Dancer" as a game...

36) You had a Big Wheel with a brake on the side, and a Sit-n-Spin.
my neigbors had the sit-n-spin. we weren't allowed Big Wheels, but we had real bikes pretty early

37) You had subscriptions to Dynamite and Tiger Beat.
I had a subscription to Star Hits which was the American sister magazine to a British teen-music magazine called Smash Hits. but when we were younger we had WOW and Bananas magazines

38) You spent all your allowance on smurfs and stickers for your sticker album!
yeah, we bought Smurfs before the cartoon came out. i spent my allowance on Hot Wheels, too...

Monday, May 02, 2005

i did it e-bay

well, i'm scouring through my stuff looking for things to sell on e-bay 1. because i need the money and 2. there is a lot of STUFF in my house that i'm just getting tired of looking at. i've got seven things up right now, and bids on two things already. heck, i had bids on one item within a couple of hours of posting it. that's promising. i've got a bunch more stuff lined up; i just don't want to have too many auctions going all at once-- too much room for error. there is a VUNCH more stuff that i would LOVE to get rid of, but the effort almost isn't worth what i would get for the stuff... we'll see how theses first auctions go...

Saturday, April 30, 2005

oh so Mono-riffic!

so, i'm back on sick leave from work for a hardcore relapse of mono. i started feeling sick about six weeks ago (a few days before my birthday!), but didn't get diagnosed as having mono until exactly one month ago. i was released back to work on April 10th but after a week back i started to slowly relapse with my sympomts of extreme fatigue and pain...

so i get to sit at home, in too much pain to do anything but just well enough to get REALLY SKULL SHATTERINGLY bored. i drove to the drugstore earlier today, and i'm just really glad that it wasn't any further away than it was.

being so disconnected with every day life-- work, my friends, is starting to make me feel like i don't exist. i spend every day waiting for-- tomorrow. Not that tomorrow May 1st specifically means anything. i'm waiting for EVERY tomorrow because every "tomorrow" is a day closer to hopefully feeling better. luckily i like my current apartment better than my last apartment; bigger, warmer, more charm and personality than the white box above the laundramat i lived in for three years. but i have too much of a headache to read any of my million and some books. so i watch a lot of TV... and i don't even have cable.

i've gotten to the point where i can't even remember what it feels like to be well.

oh, and mono is supposed to be the "kissing disease", right? yeah, well if that's the case i don't know HOW i got it...

there this girl in the dorms my second year in college, and mono ruined her entire first semester. but she had already paid for the room, so she stayed... her room was the place to watch Jeopardy and play Trivial Pursuit before dinner.

in the meanwhile i'm online all day, trying REALLY HARD to stay off e-bay.

Monday, April 04, 2005

moles out of mountainhills

i just want to say how grateful i am that the most heated debates and controversies on the Bootblack Forum usually involve "Kiwi vs. Lincoln!"...

Another list that i am on has become something not unlike war in the Balkans... multiple sides where everyone is right yet no one is wrong. Everybody believes in their viewpoint to the death, but for anyone on the outside, if you haven’t been paying attention to every military action from the very beginning, you have NO CLUE who are the armies, what are the borders, nor who is winning (if anyone...). It gets to the point where it feels like the people involved continue fighting the war only because they have forgotten what it was like to NOT fight the war.

i don’t bring this up to criticize their Balkans War. It’s their fight and they feel they need it. More power to them just try not to shoot the UN troops in the process... i’m just so grateful how... Canada... the Bootblack Community tends to be...

i have had the privilege of meeting MANY of you as well as many of your loved ones. i had the honor of meeting Master Barry at last year’s IML Bootblack Party. His passing is felt by all of us because he too was part of our family.

Maybe i’m getting all touchy-feely because it’s been over a week since i’ve had human contact above and beyond dragging my sorry ass to the grocery store for yet more apple juice... but my life is constantly filled with reminders of how much i love the Bootblack Community. As i kept saying all weekend at SWLC... if i weren’t already a bootblack, HOT DAMN i’d want to be one!


(p.s.. is anyone else freakishly disturbed by the “King” character from the Burger King commercials? yeah, i need to get out of the house...)

Friday, April 01, 2005

out of the mouths of babes

so, how many girls do you know can say "dammit, i cut my ear shaving"?

cleaning up my mowhawk is one of the few things right now that i can manage while i suffer and recover from mono. i'm about two weeks into it right now, even though i was diagnosed just a few days ago. actually i'm glad that my extreme and sudden fatigue has a cause above and beyond just getting suddenly lazy... so i've been doing stuff around the house-- mending clothes, hanging pictures, writing blogs...

as long as i stay off of ebay, i think that i'll be OK...

Thursday, March 31, 2005

Ode to Joy

on Jeopardy today two of the categories were "She's Lost Control" followed by "'Joy' Division". too bad it wasn't a live transmission...

(insert rimshot here)

Friday, March 25, 2005

personality test thing...

Advanced Global Personality Test Results
Extraversion |||||| 26%
Stability |||| 20%
Orderliness |||||||||||| 50%
Empathy |||||||||||||| 56%
Interdependence |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Intellectual |||||||||||| 43%
Mystical |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Artistic |||||||||||| 50%
Religious |||||||||||| 43%
Hedonism |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Materialism |||||| 30%
Narcissism |||||||||||||| 56%
Adventurousness |||||||||||| 43%
Work ethic |||||||||||||||| 63%
Self absorbed |||||||||||||| 56%
Conflict seeking |||||| 23%
Need to dominate |||| 16%
Romantic |||||||||||||| 56%
Avoidant |||||||||||| 50%
Anti-authority |||| 16%
Wealth || 10%
Dependency |||||||||||||| 56%
Change averse |||||||||||||| 56%
Cautiousness |||||||||||||||| 63%
Individuality |||||||||||||| 56%
Sexuality |||||| 23%
Peter pan complex |||||||||||||||| 63%
Physical security |||||||||||||||| 63%
Food indulgent |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Histrionic |||||||||||| 43%
Paranoia |||||||||||||||| 70%
Vanity |||| 16%
Hypersensitivity |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Female cliche |||||||||||| 43%
Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Sunday, February 27, 2005

One Sash to Rule Them All

i didn't "grow up" in the Leather scene-- i went from 0-60 in under 7 seconds so to speak. My first IML was 2002, and by 2004 i was an International Titleholder. i'm seven months in to my title year and my head is still spinning from everything that i get to see and do because if it... The TRAVEL! The GLAMOUR! The RED CARPET! (just kidding on that one...i'm watching the Oscars) Friday night in Cleveland we ate from a sandwich buffet table that had a human centerpiece... him all wrapped up in a leather body bag.

At my first IML, i saw everywhere... Titleholders-- men and women striding proudly around the leathermarket in their Title Vests decorated with chrome studs and black, red, and blue leather. i'd seen Drummer magazine once back in 1994-- i had two friends who were leathermen--and on the cover was Mr. Drummer 1994 (i don't remember who it was). i didn't get it. was it a beauty contest? was it a fashion show? did the contest actually just involve criteria that couldn't be shown on the cover if the magazine? and then that was it for eight years...

Granted, i didn't live in a vacuum for those eight years--my first bondage party was also in 1994 where i was blindfolded, chained to a beam above my head, and spanked by an ex- to the point where i couldn't sit down for three days... all on stage in front of over 100 people.... but the Goth/fetish scene of Milwaukee, Wisconsin just doesn't have a lot of contact with the leather title scene...

Every event i go to, i learn more and more about this elaborate title system that i am strangely a part of. but for another five months, i get to fly around the country with a chrome studded leather sash in my carry on-bag, i get to speak on stage in front of people i would have never otherwise met, and with my Title Vest on i get to stride through the leathermarket at IML where i'm sure some goth chick is going to look at me and think "what IS all of this Titleholder business?"

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Pretty Young Thing

i'm not here to make comment on Michael Jackson's innocence or guilt; that's for the court to determine... but if nothing else, he has made bad choices with whom to spend his time for someone in such a high profile...

But i will say that this society has nearly sanctioned his bad choices. Just pick up a copy of a magazine from my youth such as "Teen Beat" or "Tiger" or anything else similar that encourages our youngsters to lust after their elders... i remember in my day lusting after the ever-so-dreamy Adam Ant and John Taylor of Duran Duran... these men were both WELL over a decade my senior while i was in high school (and therefore VERY illegal) but no one thinks twice about a highschool teeny-bopper wanting to throw themselves at such hotties... until, of course, it actually HAPPENS... and then of course was my first crush, Lynda Carter, when i was only five years old. Of course, at five years old i didn't understand why thinking of her naked made me fell "funny", but i KNEW that i wanted to be near her the next time that she WAS naked...

is it normal for youth to lust after "elders"? Of course. they have power, authority, money...later curfues....

maybe before we pass too harsh a judgement on Michael, we should take a look at the mixed messages that we are sending our underage kids, which seems to be "lust but don't touch, unless their promises to be a large settlement."

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Jedem das Seine

i was just watching a program on PBS about the Auschwitz and the Holocaust, and they touched on Holocaust Revisionists... You know, the people who feel that they have scientific/historical proof that the Holocaust never happened.

To these people, the Holocaust was a hoax-- a Jerry Bruckheimer-sized Hollywood publicity stunt to create sympathy for the Jews...

But the irony is the attitude that Revisionists have about Jews and the Holocaust... These people are essentially saying "Of COURSE the Holocaust didn't happen; but HOT DAMN we wish it HAD!" The "Final Solution" was a jewel in the crown of the Nazis--revisionists hate Jews as much as the Nazis who ran the death camps-- you'd think that these "revisionists" would be giving an historical high-five to the Nazis by describing in livid and lurid detail the "glorious" horrors orchestrated by the SS.

But in the meantime, maybe the Revisionists should take a nice, soothing Zyklon-B "de-lousing solution" shower and then warm their feet in the crematoria... or maybe they should just have their skin made into lampshades-- kind of like the lamps made of human bone and skin that i saw at Buchenwald.

Thursday, January 20, 2005

True Super Powers

so, i'm watching "Catwoman" and i've just realized that if Halle Berry were TRULY a "cat woman", she would be sleeping WAY too much to have time for a double life... i mean, come on... cats sleep 16 ours a day. Granted, she doesn't have a job, but she is dating AND fighting crime. Spider-Man, Superman, Batman... they all felt that they didn't have time for both, but they eventually found time because they are all over-achievers. But come ON! Cats are hardly over-achievers... bursts of energy followed by long, thick naps...

and don't get me started on cat ADD... thwart the "cat woman" with a shiny ball of alluminum foil rolling across the floor...

Monday, January 17, 2005

i went to MAL and all i got was this lousy t-shirt

actually i didn't even get a shirt, because the LAST thing i need is yet ANOTHER t-shirt...

Mid Atlantic Leather (MAL) is one of the largest Leather events in the country. Three days long, thousands of people, hotels filled to capacity for a mile radius around the host hotel in Washington, DC, big-name headlining entertainment (this year was Sandra Bernhardt), cocktail parties, Sunday brunch... and i spent my late evenings watching the History Channel...

MAL downplayed the Mid Atlantic Bootblack (MABB) competition, and rumor has it that this was going to be the last year of MABB. MABB was one of the best known and most respected bootblack competitions in the country because it has no gender restrictions for contestants (men, women, and everyone in between can compete) and MABB was the first bootblack competition to include juding on top of the "ballot" system.

International Mr. Bootblack and International Ms. Bootblack employ the "ballot" system of bootblack voting-- everyone who registers for the event gets a ballot to vote for their favorite bootblack, the theory being that the best quality bootblack will generate the most customers by being the best bootblack. Unfortunately in the earlier and less-regulated days of the IMrBB contest, bootblacks did things other than boots for ballots... But adding judging into the mix helps keep things on the up and up... MABB dropped judging for this year, and like i said this just might be the last year...

so, this was the first event that i have been to where i didn't have official duties-- competing, teaching, judging-- and i felt pretty lost.

but Artie and i found chocolate cake (after walking around for an hour hitting every grocery store and bakery that we could find, we ended up getting cake at Hamburger Mary's) Hail Mary.

Friday, January 07, 2005

so much furniture

Tori Amos has the luckiest piano bench EVER... oh, to be a piano bench... (i've been watching Tori Amos video tape of her live...)

Monday, January 03, 2005

is this what we call irony?

my apartment is lit by nothing but candles... and my computer screen...